Live: First Posting

Where my journey has left me at...

After losing my job, its been an unbelievably difficult "one" mountain to climb after another of winding systems only to go tumbling down to the valley. 

Hanging in that valley a little to long gets me thinking. 

A valley full of disbelief to get from one day to the next... only to end with no change. no faith. lots of sleep.  Lost time is accurate but I'm still walking this life journey one day at a time.

[Maybe waking in AM this day will be different.]

[Mental note] make a choice.  I decided to put faith in myself instead. Focus on what is within my control.  Find peace there and let it settle.   Settle deep it did.

I started EPL as a means, a gateway so to speak, of sharing my interests and simple pleasures.

Then the news... the world's veil ripped around me. Consistently changing while running in place.  Sure as anything [!] I can depend on always redirecting where I place value.  Where should this bird look.  Chasing butterflies to the sunset for answers.  Oh I see a rainbow over there.  Where does it lead?

A recap.... Value of TIME,  MONEY, and ENERGY.  A couple points................. I'll get to in one breathe so hold yours.

I've spent too much time in areas that brought little return back to me in a vicious cycle of being a people pleaser to function.

 "Are you upset at me?",

"Is this okay?",

"I have a question?",

"Did I do this properly?",

"Is it up to your standards?"

An amoeboid woman walking so to speak...  People pleaser to the point of silence... silence not for lack of words but lack of care for sharing.  Maxed on both sides of the table. Time to walk away.

Rather than focusing on is it up to my standard, my value, my POV, my right to your wrong.  My "I care" to your learning curve.  From my lens to your blind.

My I was not done speaking : Your mental overload.

There is a lesson here. Lost time.

| Time I cannot walk backwards in. |

| Time I'd like to 'men in black' in. |

| Time I'd like to 'forget'.  |

[Lost time is accurate.  Still walking this life journey one day at a time. Assessing and reassessing to the point of exhaustion. That however isn't time lost. It's time value add.]

Now exhale.... In hale.. hold...

Money does not grow on trees wouldn't that be nice if that was TRUTH.  Thin pieces of smashed and destroyed trees are now valuable. 

| Let's trade this paper for something I believe is worth it. |

| Let's collect it until it defines what we believe our worth is.  [Time to stop collecting the money.] |

| Let's judge each other for the value of our money. YES the money we have self imposed on what our number is in order to stop collecting. |

Now exhale... In hale... hold...

Energy.  Obviously energy cannot be created nor destroyed. Remember that in 8th grade? A moot point here so to speak.  Let's be hyper focused on energy that could have been spent elsewhere that would have created a bigger impact.  The delta will circle you back to the money discussion.

That's how EPL was born.  my 3rd baby.  child.  Something to nurture...  Something to love... Something to drive using what I learned from the corporate world.